A Willing Spirit

"The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak."

Matthew 26:41

We are in a constant Spiritual Warfare.

  We see this eminent in the Agony in the Garden, where Jesus battles between his human desires and the will of God. The devil has a way of getting under your skin. He does what he can to infiltrate your life with despair, depression, hopelessness, unworthiness, fear, anxiety, negative thoughts, loneliness, hatred, anger, jealousy, lust, gluttony, selfishness, doubt - anything that will cause you to leave faith and sin. He will confuse our minds in menacing ways, and label them with words accepted by our "modern" society as normal or desirable. Honest words like love, equality, condition, rights, freedom, choice, necessity, supportive, desperate, etc… can all be twisted to justify our ill desires and actions.

I once read that Doubt, Despair and Depression are his three common wounds for holy souls. If he cannot cause us to sin, he can cause us to find misery and uncertainty. It's much more subtle, so we don't always see it coming. But there is hope. Jesus taught us that suffering can be beautiful. Beautiful suffering? Yes! When you don't allow the suffering to become a part of who you are and you overcome it - that's beautiful. And when we open our eyes to the beauty of God's Desires for us, we can better reject Satan and all his temptations.

(Photo Credit)

 

Tested by Fire

  I have suffered for years from depression, ranging from bumbed-out days to feeling completely hopeless. I suffer from PMDD and gluten-induced bursts of emotional distress. While I can control what I eat and offer my sufferings with the Cross of Christ, I still can't control what my hormones induce. On some occasions, it could be a spout of crying or irritability. Nothing new for this homeschooling mother of 5. Other days it affects my entire day, after a phone call or conversation with family or friends. For hours after I will ponder the conversation, read deeply into it, and feel utterly depressed about my relationships. There have also been times when I curl up in bed, thinking of every possible excuse not to attend a gathering or appointment that day or the next.

Medications were helpful at one time, but as I heal my body, medication only makes me feel numb and blissless. So for the occasional rainy-day, I suffer and I'm okay with that. It's my cross, and I embrace it, as everyone has a cross. What I can control is the way I handle the moment before, during and after. What I control is how I spend MOST of my life, the good days. On the good days, I seek out God's desire for me, his purpose for my life. I embrace the lessons learned from my bad days, making my good days better.

Salvifici Doloris

Letter of Pope John Paul II on the Christian Meaning of Human Suffering, 11 February 1984

"…With these and similar words the witnesses of the New Covenant speak of the greatness of the Redemption, accomplished through the suffering of Christ. The Redeemer suffered in place of man and for man. Every man has his own share in the Redemption. Each one is also called to share in that suffering through which the Redemption was accomplished. He is called to share in that suffering through which all human suffering has also been redeemed. In bringing about the Redemption through suffering, Christ has also raised human suffering to the level of the Redemption. Thus each man, in his suffering, can also become a sharer in the redemptive suffering of Christ…"

Being Christ to others.

  Today was posted an article that really reaches out to Catholics, on how to talk to others suffering with depression. It's part of a series of how you can reach out in an appropriate way. I encourage you to read it if you know or may someday meet someone with depression. Even if you "think you know" what to say or do, this might be enlightening. From Austin Catholic New Media…

   "As family and friends of people suffering with a mental illness, our job isn’t to make the pain and suffering disappear.  Being there for someone is far more valuable, to validate their existence and their suffering, to remind them it is not their fault and they are not crazy.  To try to solve it or make their pain disappear is not our task. The more we educate ourselves about the ebb and flow of Depression, the better we will be able to understand the people who carry that cross…"

   Please, read the whole article "What to say (and not to say) to someone who is depressed"

Here's the quick list of what to say (and not say) to someone who's depressed.

 

Please don’t say:

1) Try to think more positive

2) You just need to get out and exercise

3) You need to pray more

4) It’s all in your head

5) You just need perspective, others have it much worse.

6) Just get over it, Snap Out of It

7) Don't think like that

8) Pull Yourself Together

9) You know better

10) You're just trying to get attention, or you're doing this on purpose

Trust me, I've heard them ALL, but sadly the "don'ts" more than the "dos". Most depressed people realize when their friends are trying, and it is appreciated. Don't get offended if we don't respond the way you hoped. Saying the wrong thing can push them deeper, even if you meant well. For many of us, this moment will pass and we would like to let that down moment go and keep it in the past. But for the moment - we can't let it go because our chemically altered minds keep the negative thoughts repeating us into a deeper depression.

Avoiding someone who is depressed makes it worse, because they need Jesus in you to help them up. Here are some things you could say or do. Be not afraid!

Instead, we can say things like this.

1) You’re not alone

2) I’m here for you, let me help you

3) This is not your fault

4) You are important, you are loved

5) I am praying for you

6) Lets get together

7) Do you want to join me in adoration today

8) It's okay to take a day off

9) Something's different about you today, do you want to talk about it?

It's hard for the depressed person to come up with ideas for distraction. When I'm depressed, I cannot make decisions. I cannot make a meal plan, I cannot plan a school lesson, I cannot "handle the kids," I cannot think about tomorrow. Any help with these areas are such a blessing. What is helpful? Eating out, play dates, spouse taking the role of discipline, someone bringing a meal, send an e-card, and having someone pray FOR you or WITH you.

 

I have found that simply watching a comedy with a spouse or friend can be comforting. Getting out of the slump we're in is the first step towards recovery, by having someone else make the first initiative to plan something mildly entertaining. Pick something that doesn't increase social anxiety, or require us to gussy up. Find a way to lessen any burden of the day - you can find it out best by being a good listener.

Thank you to all who've helped me recover from one of my "episodes." They're less frequent this past year, and most I keep to myself through the grace of God. Please continue to pray for me and all those afflicted with depression.

Dear God,

  Please help me be a light to those who suffer from the darkness of depression. Intercede in their lives with great moments of hope, joy and friendship. Help them find a support system of family, friends and therapists that can teach them ways to pull out of the darkness of despair, depression, discouragement, doubt and distress. In your name I pray. Amen.

Dear God,

  Unite my sufferings with your holy cross and help me to better embrace my own cross. Help me find faith, joy, hope and peace in my life, as well as friendships that nurture joy and faith. Thank you for my many blessings that make this burden lighter. Shower me with your grace, O Lord. Amen.

Books that have been recommended for Catholics:

I just purchased the book (for our Nook) "Surviving Depression: A Catholic Approach" by Kathryn J Hermes. It also has a Prayer Book companion. I will be sure to review it for you soon.

A Catholic Guide to Depression by Aaron Kheriaty, MD {Review by Catholic World Report}

Never Give Up: My Life and God's Mercy by John Janaro

The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman

-These books help you better understand why your child or spouse doesn't love you the way you want them to. Perhaps, they're saying or doing it in a different way than you'd expect. Learn your love language and how to love others better.

The Temperament God Gave Your Kids by Art & Laraine Bennett

-This book has really opened my eyes to loving my children more tenderly and noticing my personal behavior towards others. Answered questions I have about discipline, ADD, depression, moods and more from a Christian perspective. Also read "The Temperament God Gave You" and "The Temperament God Gave Your Spouse."

Pick Me Up, Lord.

I share this with you to bring hope to others who have fallen into the same despair for whatever reason. That place where your own life seems to come to an end, because all your thoughts are focused on all the bad in your life. You ask to be taken away, to disappear, to escape somehow. To give up on yourself.

It's been years since I felt as low as I did today. Almost 7 in fact. I have long suffered from moderate to severe depression. This past year I've been so much better, I thought it had passed. Instead it culminated in my subconscious, and shot out with the slightest trigger.  Actually, it was a lot of things all at once. 

There is ONE who never gives up, one who can fill that empty heart with His grace. Let Go, and Let God. What lifts me up at a time like this are the loving words of God found in the Bible and through the beautiful words of love He shares in songs sung by His disciples. Ponder over them with me.

 

Psalm 9:9-10 The Lord will never abandon you.

The Lord is a stronghold for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. And those who know your name put their trust in you, for you, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek you.

Isaiah 41:10

Fear not, for I am with you, be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my victorious right hand.

Romans 8:31-39 Nothing can separate us from God's Love.

What then are we to say about these things? If God is for us, who is against us? He who did not withhold his own Son, but gave him up for all of us, will he not with him also give us everything else? Who will bring any charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. Who is to condemn? It is Christ Jesus, who died, yes, who was raised, who is at the right hand of God, who indeed intercedes for us.Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will hardship, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? As it is written,

“For your sake we are being killed all day long;
we are accounted as sheep to be slaughtered.”

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

 

Isaiah 41:28 God will strengthen you.

Have you not known? Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not faint or grow weary, his understanding is unsearchable.
He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength.
Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted;
but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength,
they shall mount up with wings like eagles,
they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.

2 Corinthians 12:7-10 In our weakness, Christ gives us His Grace and makes us strong.

 Because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, for this reason, to keep me from exalting myself, there was given me a thorn in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment me—to keep me from exalting myself! Concerning this I implored the Lord three times that it might leave me. And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong.

Sing it like you mean it… To sing is to pray twice!

By Your Side ( Tenth Avenue North)

I'll never let you go and I'll be by your side ..where ever you fall… whenever you call.

Please don't fight, these hands that are holding you.

Where There is Faith (4Him)

Where there is faith, there is a voice calling 'keep walking, you're not alone in this world.'

Where there is faith, there is peace like a child sleeping,

hope everlasting in He who is able to bear every burden,

to heal ever hurt in my heart.

There is a wonderful, powerful place where there is grace.

You Are My All In All

You are my strength when I am weak,

You are the treasure that I seek,

You are my all in all.

Seeking you as a precious jewel,

Lord, to give up I'd be a fool,

You are my all in all.

Taking my sin, my cross, my shame

rising again I call your name

You are my all in all.

When I fall down you pick me up

When I am dry you fill my cup

You are my all in all.

Jesus, Lamb of God. Worthy is Your name.

 

Remember, that Jesus the Son of God already carried His cross. So any burden you have has already been made lighter by His sacrifice. But still, in your weakness, He will be there to lift you up and carry You until you regain your strength. But you need to put your trust in Him. That's a lot to ask of someone who wants to give up. But I promise you this, if you trust that God can forgive the sinner, shine a light in the darkness, find you comfort, and show you the way home - you will survive this awful day. Be open to his mercy and grace. When you are weak, He will reach out to you in ways you may not understand, may not recognize at first, or ways you didn't expect.

 

Tomorrow is a NEW day. Alleluia!

 

A little but of humor to start your day…

 

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Philippians 4:13

Out of the blizzard and into our home

The snow lays thickly over the yard, as it come down in one messy storm. Outside is the harsh wind, that dashes the flakes at every angle. Toys are buried, trees weighed down, and roads waiting to be plowed. The news says not to venture out, and shows images of empty roads and vehicles in ditches. Outside is such chaos.

From inside it looks beautiful. The light reflects into our home, with no need to turn on the lamps. The flakes gracefully dance from sky to ground, and through the glass is an mesmerizing snow globe. We're warm and unaware of the frigid chill outside. We go about our day, content with staying in and enjoying each other's company.

It is not a far stray from everyday for us. While the world is buzzing in every direction, working and wanting all the time, we are at home in our casual affairs. We realize not the wars and bitterness between people far from here. We know not much of the ways of the world, and ache for those who do. Outside our home are the undesirable complications that press on the heart and make us grow weary. Burning like frostbite.

Inside, we are warmly welcomed by those that know us well. We move about each other gracefully, and any disruption is resolved in short time. Our love for each other glows, and we teach compassion and stillness. This home nourishes us with healthy food and a forgiving faith. It is not a wonder that we do not desire to stray far from home. Who would leave a comforting fire for a harsh blizzard?

Don't be mislead, often times we open the door and those cold winds blow in. There will always be unsettled times when we forget where we are. There are times when we catch a cold and are miserable to one another.

When I do step outside and wander into the uncertain world, it is often times that I find myself rushing home to recover and refresh my soul. I wish that there was no reason to leave my secure and certain dwelling. It's predictable and understanding. The world outside can be so harsh that is dashes the very idea of connecting with others. There is fear of not surviving the winds that blow blasphemy, rejection, hatred, and disillusion.

Tomorrow the storm will subside, the winds will calm, the snow will lay, and we'll venture outside again. However, I feel it necessary to wear my boots, cover my head, and prepare myself for any snowballs that may come my way.

 

So how do we prepare ourselves to enter the world outside our home? Our boots are our firm grounding in our faith. We study our Bible, we participate in traditions of worship and sacraments, and we recognize that we are weak and unstable without God. Our coats are our family and friends that wrap themselves around us and keep us warm with their love. Our gloves keep our hands warm as we reach out to serve others who need God's love through us. Our hats keep out the voices that whisper evil thoughts, and help us to focus on the inner voice of the righteous Spirit. Finally, our shovel helps us clear a path for others to follow.

 

May God Bless You while you tread through the snow outside your home.