Yup, this will be pregnancy #9 (lost 2), my 7th cesearean, and the 7th one to tear apart our house someday. Lets just say that despite our best efforts to avoid pregnancy, I didn't account for my breast milk supplements running out for the reason I had dry signs. I thought I was clearly in phase 3. NOPE, it was peak day.
Oh well, we've had plenty of time to process our worries, fears, concerns, excitement, and the fact I was only 5 1/2 months post partum when it happened. Our youngest will be 14 months old when the baby is born. But it turns out the kids had been praying for another. So sweet.
This is our recent ultrasound and all is well with baby and mama.
What do I make of this? God has a plan.
Do I like his plan? Not all the time, but I trust it.
Do I like being pregnant? Usually.
Do I like trying to avoid using NFP? Nope. Most don't.
What do I think about having 7 kids? We live in a zoo, what's one more monkey?
Will I consider other means of contraception after this baby is born? No way, Jose.
Why not? Because God has taught us through the Church, that it is sinful, selfish, against our marriage vows... and because it is poisonous for your body and your marriage.
Congrats on another little blessing!
ReplyDeleteI have a question. I too would never consider contraception to avoid pregnancy but what about straight abstinence? Difficult yes but also highly effective : )
That certainly is a tough one we've been talking about. We're leaning towards the Marquette method with its digital accuracy! I'm a bit young and very much like my husband, so we're going to hope there is a better way.
DeleteMarquette is great! I highly recommend it!
Deletewell! Congratulation on this new little one - amazing what a group of children praying for something will accomplish with God!
ReplyDeleteprayers for you and this pregnancy
blessings
Karen
Honestly, in your situation, it is best that you stop having children and have something permanent in place. God wants you to teach your children to be successful, a good work ethic, etc. You can't afford to have all your children, it's obvious as you have a fund setup to help your family. If you are struggling financially, I would be abstaining as NFP hasn't worked at all for you. Either you need to get a job on the weekend or your husband needs to toughen up and go to work, regardless of an injury, and work multiple jobs to do what he has to do. I know many people who have back problems and they are either jack hammering all day, sitting at a desk, standing at a register all day, etc. They go to work and work their butts off because they have to and do it without complaining. There are some whose parents work 2 or 3 jobs just to provide for their family, not mooching off the system and begging for money with a sob story.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, you don't know us so your opinion doesn't shake me. We can afford all our children. We just don't have the funds now for certain unexpected large items we really needed immediately and people we know have asked to help us out. My husband works hard 40-60 hour weeks, every week - currently, even in -20 weather. He never complains, even when he's hurting. He works any overtime he can and helps others for side work/cash. We do not take much assistance. Infact, we're saving the government thousands of dollars by homeschooling and finding ways to get along on our own. It is not an option for me to work outside the home. Also, NFP has worked for us wonderfully for 12 years. It is just this time that things didn't go as expected, despite long periods of abstinence. We simply need to see an instructor to perfect our understanding of my cycles, as they've seemed to have changed for the first time in a few decades. You really should keep your comments to yourself if you do not know someone personally to make such harsh accusations. It just makes you sound ridiculous and uncredible.
DeleteYour breast milk supplements wouldn't have been the cause for you to "dry up." If you've nursed your other children, you should know that while nursing, almost everyone physician encourages either 1. A back up method or 2. abstinence while nursing. Your hormones are out of wack while nursing and until you are completely finished nursing, your cycle will resume back to normal. Some women while start with their period while nursing, depending upon the frequency you are nursing, but your ovulation does not return to normal until you are done breast feeding. I've been married for 17 years and I can still remember our wedding vows like it was yesterday. I don't recall pledging to one another that we wouldn't use a form of birth control. If you are in a healthy relationship and have decided together as a married couple that you are complete with your family, it does not make it sinful. If one does it spite the other, then that's a different story. My husband had a vasectomy a year after we were done having our 4th child (we were trying for a boy and got lucky the 4th time), and having something permanent in place only married our marriage stronger.
ReplyDeleteYou are clearly not a Catholic, or one who doesn't understand the teachings of the Church on the role of marriage and family. It has become more common to have such misinterpretations as yours. I have researched, prayed about, and discussed with my spouse all facets of this area. It would be a mortal sin if we used birth control or surgery to remove procreation from the marital act. We also personally do not want to do anything unnatural. I am at a very low risk, but if I had to have an emergency hysterectomy during a cesarean, then it would not be a sin. But I'm not broken, I AM open to life, and my marriage is only stronger because of our faith and conviction on this matter. I don't know why you think your comment could influence this? NFP is the ONLY allowed means to avoid or conceive a pregnancy in serious situations. There are a few methods/variations of NFP to find what works best for you.
DeleteOn another thought, my cycle WAS affected by supplements, breastfeeding and stress. I know my body better than you, miss anonymous. My doctor was killed in a tragic accident around this time, so I wasn't able to see him for advice and I'm pretty sure he'd have no idea - most doctors only know birth control. They get paid to tell you. I am in need of a new NFP instructor, who may have been able to help in this regard but we never had troubles like this before. It obviously surprised us. There are also NaPro doctors whom I'd like to talk to before resuming sex after the baby is born. We're doing the responsible thing, and seeking professional help with our choice before the baby is born.
Why do I write all this? i have no need to publish your comment or reply to you. However, I think others need to see that I and thousands of other women are just like me and understand where I'm at in this decision, even if it's a hard one to swallow some days. I am currently excited about this pregnancy, having a large family, and looking forward to getting our finances in a better place this year. Maybe even a David Ramsey class?
If you're wondering what the Catholic Church teaches regarding sex, marriage, family, birth control, etc. You can visit a Facebook forum "NFP Catholic Style" or read suggested books as "Theology of the Body," "The Sinners Guide to NFP," or "Holy Sex!" As a final option, you can seek out a spiritual advisor for your individual situation.
Anonymous, it really sounds like you're confusing NFP with the calendar method of years past. NFP can work for women post partum and for many women it does. And I don't see anywhere in this post where she says that all of her pregnancies were unintended. She speaks about the start of this one pregnancy.
DeleteIf you don't remember pledging in your wedding vows that you wouldn't use birth control than I'm guessing you aren't Catholic or weren't married in a Catholic ceremony. We do promise, as a part of the sacrament of matrimony, to be open to life. She and her husband would be breaking that vow if they were to contracept.
As Catholics we don't believe that separating the marriage act, either with a permanent method or with artificial hormones, makes a marriage stronger. In fact, if you read human vitae, you'll see that the opposite is quite true and that that truth has been reflected in the harm the availability of artificial contraception has done to our society.
If you have read previous posts, she clearly wrote in her own words that, at the time, of 6 pregnancies, only 1......1.......was planned. So for someone using NFP and to have that many unplanned pregnancies, something isn't ringing a bell. And I'm not referring to the calendar method. When you are nursing a baby regularly, your cycle IS NOT normal and physicians clearly state that you can get pregnant while nursing, even though you may not have your menstrual cycle. I nursed 2 of my children for almost a year and up until the end when I started weaning them off, is when I could tell when I was ovulating again.
DeleteAnonymous. Only one was planned, meaning we were actively trying and hoping to get pregnant using our fertile window to DTD. The others we were "Trying to Whatever." We were not trying to strictly avoid the other pregnancies. Among regular NFP users, TTW is common. Many don't even chart. Most of my children came after a successful use of NFP to space them. Once at least a year had past PP, we would just allow "whatever" to happen. We weren't actively planning to get pregnant or not get pregnant. It's called being open to life. A concept you seem to be unaware of. Probably why your interpretation of my writing is inaccurate.
DeleteI wouldn't care if you personally were a nurse or doctor, breastfeeding specialist or NFP instructor.... my personal experience with breastfeeding is what it is. I typically only nursed 1-3 months, but a couple made it to 5-7 months for reasons I've never written about. However, each time my cycle returned at 3 months, and almost every time it returned to a typical 30-day fertile cycle whether I continued to breastfeed or not. That is why I took the NFP Level 3/Breastfeeding class with an instructor after #3. It is a mucous only plan. I was never taught any other method and hadn't learned of any other method besides temping until this year. Until this year, I had no urgent reason to Try To Avoid pregnancy so seriously. Before this year, our "unplanned but open to life" pregnancies have been explainable in hindsight looking back on charting and personal calendar. Some call it "user error," others call it an opportunity for God to give a gift. At no point were we unhappy with our pregnancies.
I know you can get pregnant while nursing. And since I had a cycle while nursing, I knew my chances were greater, hence our strict abstinence during our obvious fertile mucous time and a cushion of many days on each side. This is the first time EVER that I've had such an unpredictible ovulation. Even looking back at my charts. So excited to get on board with the Marquette Method with scientific accuracy to pinpoint ovulation!
You have had your experience, and it's yours alone. You hide behind your anonymity, but I know you do not know me personally, or we wouldn't be having this discussion. You are also not my spiritual advisor or doctor, and do not know my real life and body to understand. Fortunately, I have plenty of people in my life that support where I am at. People who are happy for me and are not nagging at an unchangeble past and would never encourage me to do something harmful or unnecessary to my body. I really think you need to find a new blog to read.
You might find some support in breastfeeding and practicing ecological breastfeeding at www.catholicbreastfeeding.org. Also, I am a lactation consultant and would love to help you with milk supply issues as best I can.
DeleteAbstinence is required if you want to prevent pregnancy. Clearly NFP isn't working for you. God also gave you a brain and has allowed people to invent methods of birth control. Seven c-sections is very dangerous. Perhaps a tubal should be added to your procedure
ReplyDeleteI think I've answered this well above. But I'll reiterate. NFP has and will work for us. I am a very intelligent woman, and those who know me know this. Cesareans are different for every woman, and so far I am in no more danger than a woman having her first child naturally. I am under great physician care who have no urgent concerns on my behalf. I am aware of the risks, which are very low for me at this stage but my doctor is taking all precautions to keep it this way. No tubal will be considered or necessary. No vasectomy will ever be considered. Chemicals/Birth Control is a ridiculous option IMO. I also chose this doctor because of his history with high number of cesarean surgeries, being Catholic, and this clinic would never risk the huge lawsuit I'd make if they tried to deceive me.
DeleteCongratulations on another blessing in your family! What a beautiful thing it will be for you to be able to tell this child that s/hewas prayed for by your other children, even before God breathed life into his sweet little soul! Thanks for being a strong witness for life and for authentic Catholic faith. It is not always the easiest road on the way to Heaven, but we are assured that it will be well worth the journey in the end. Asking the intercession of Sts. Gerard and Giana for a healthy pregnancy and birth for you and Baby! +JMJ+ See you in the facebook group, Mama.
DeleteIntelligent people are involved in abortions, wars, and other terrible things. Intelligence doesn't make it good. Birth control is simply another evil of our time. Even if it is not a religious thing for you, many many many people are coming to see its dangers and are choosing Natural Family Planning as a successful method that respects women's bodies and couples relationships. There is no shortage of intelligent studies on this matter.
DeleteAbstinence is not required of anyone. It is a choice you can make. It is the only 100% effective way to avoid pregnancy. However, it is proven that periods of abstinence can be just as effective - if you know what you're doing. It is only in the past couple years that I've had a reason to consider avoiding indefinitely. The reasons are between me, my husband and God. It is not for strangers or anyone else to decide for us. We only have ourselves to blame and our Heavenly Father to THANK for our misunderstanding of my current fertility. We have always been guided by church teachings and spiritual advisement from trusted priests, and are confident in our decision.
DeleteThe sympto thermal method of NFP is 99.6% effective when used according to the rules. That is as effective or effective than almost all contraceptive methods. I am just posting this in response to all those who are questioning whether NFP works.
DeleteCongrats. God's plan is always greater and filled with more happiness than we could have ever planned for ourselves. My husband and I have used NFP our entire marriage. While we have struggled with its implementation and abstinence at times, we never regret entrusting this part of our relationship to God and know that God has blessed our marriage. I have high risk pregnancies. We continue to use NFP because while we realize there are more effective or permanent means of BC, I would rather use a method that honors God's natural law. It is fantasy to pretend that we are in total control of our life and any sufferings we may endure in this life. The wisdom of the world is foolishness. May God grant you a healthy baby, safe delivery and easy transition.
ReplyDeleteYou are an awesome momma!follow Gods plan, for he will not lead you a stray! I will be praying for all the lost souls who have posted on here, they seem to have forgotten God's teachings.
ReplyDelete