Adoration Thursday Night

As you can see from my posts, I'm struggling with my life and homeschooling. But I'm trying to buck up and take it like a mother. So tonight while in prayer at Adoration, feeling like my soul was so black maybe God couldn't reach me with his words...

He called me to pray the rosary. Mary inspired me to pray without hesitation the Joyful Mysteries. I willingly agreed and began. My daughter, only 6, requested to come with me, so I got her started and then began my own. (She did rather well, but this will not be a regular thing.)

The Joyful Mysteries for Homeschoolers (what I heard)

1. The Annunciation: Mary said yes to be the mother of God, whom she homeschooled and raised the best she could with God's Grace. I too said "yes" to being a mother and homeschooling little soldiers for Christ. So if I said "yes" to His calling for me, how can I have any doubt of my choice? So again, I say "YES." I will teach your little children to know, love and serve you - as you have asked of me.

2. The Visitation: Even Mary needed womanly companionship in her life. Someone to lift her up, and with Elizabeth pregnant also, they could share in those trials together. Homeschool and Stay at home mothers need companionship. It is in God's great design that we share our lives with each other. I am honored to have found a beautiful friend (Jamie) who shares many of my same joys and trials. Someone who lifts me up in my sad times, because she understands and prays for me - as I do for her. The visitation is about companionship, an essential part of happiness with homeschooling.

3. The Birth of Jesus: God's gifts to us are plentiful. When the school day begins, I am called to bring my gifts to my children, just as the 3 kings did. The gifts are my talents, my love and affection, my knowledge, my faith and so much more. I need to bring all that to the table each morning. Give of myself freely to my children to further enrich their lives as well as mine. What we do for them, we do for Jesus.

4. The Presentation: As parents, we need to offer our children up to the Lord. We need to be sure that their lives are lived for Christ, not to fulfill our own wants and shortcomings. We need to present ourselves to our children and be an open book to them. A living example of what they will someday become. Are we being that for them? Am I being a good example for my children? What materials are we presenting to our children - are they fully enriched in the teachings of the church? When they are presented at the gates of heaven, will God be pleased with the way we raised them and how they were taught and disciplined?

5. The Finding of Jesus in the Temple: Our children will stray, it is just in their nature to do so. I need to accept that, and move on. I need to stay calm when they tune me out or have a day where they just would rather play. Isn't that what homeschooling is all about? Flexibility? Why am I having such a hard time being flexible, when that is a big part of the whole plan!? I need to be confident that the Lord has a big hand in all of this, and if I slip, if they slip, whether we mean to or not, God will bring us back on track when the time is right. And I need to remember that they are just children - and I need to refocus my attention on what is truly a necessity and what can wait for another day.

These are just some of the thoughts, probably ramblings to some of you. But I really felt through the thickness of my soul, a soul that is in desperate need of confession, God's voice wtill spoke to me. I had to be still, quiet, and just a few feet away from the Real Presence to hear Him - but I did. He called, and I answered him. Now it is up to me to take heed and start anew.

Tomorrow I feel will be a better day.

Thank the Lord!