Is it Vanity or Grace

 

While looking for a Bible verse for a completely different thought, I came upon this reading that touches on the pursuit of happiness in this life. It helped me answer: What is a gift from God and What is vanity? It all comes down the decision to live a life consumed in discipleship, or a life lived for ourselves. Which will you choose?

In pleasing God, we find grace, but if we displease Him we find ourselves laboring for others. Yes, there is work to be done to live, but how we do it and our reasons why determine its fruits.

 Ecclesiastes 2:22-26
   "For what profit comes to mortals from all the toil and anxiety of heart with which ...they toil under the sun? Every day sorrow and grief are their occupation; even at night their hearts are not at rest. This also is vanity.
   There is nothing better for mortals than to eat and drink and provide themselves with good things from their toil. Even this, I saw, is from the hand of God. For who can eat or drink apart from God? For to the one who pleases God, he gives wisdom and knowledge and joy; but to the one who displeases, God gives the task of gathering possessions for the one who pleases God. This also is vanity and a chase after wind."

I have been pondering this awhile, while I groom my home with draperies and gardens. Where is the point where you deny yourself comforts? Where do simple pleasures become vanities? How can we determine if our happiness is fruits of grace from our hard work and good deeds? The answers have been given so beautifully in the Bible - Seek and you shall find!

Matthew 16:24-27
"Then Jesus said to His disciples, 'If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it. For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul? For the Son of Man is going to come in the glory of His Father with His angels, and will then repay every man according to his deeds.'"

 

“The soul is torn apart in a painful condition as long as it prefers the eternal because of its Truth but does not discard the temporal because of familiarity.”
― Augustine of Hippo, Confessions    

Mark 12:41-44 The Widow's Offering
He sat down opposite the treasury, and watched the crowd putting money into the treasury. Many rich people put in large sums.  A poor widow came and put in two small copper coins, which are worth a penny.  Then he called his disciples and said to them, “Truly I tell you, this poor widow has put in more than all those who are contributing to the treasury.  For all of them have contributed out of their abundance; but she out of her poverty has put in everything she had, all she had to live on.”

Have you been chosen to work for the Lord in any aspect of your life? What are we owed for our works and laboring? Nothing. God owes humanity nothing - yet he freely gives us the gifts of grace, mercy and love. Grace saves us and blesses us, but is given to those who have faith AND live a life exemplifying that faith with good works.

Genesis 3:16-19 Punishment of Adam and Eve
  To the woman he said, "I will greatly increase your pangs in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children, yet your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.”

  And to the man he said,“Because you have listened to the voice of your wife, and have eaten of the tree bout which I commanded you, ‘You shall not eat of it,’cursed is the ground because of you; in toil you shall eat of it all the days of your life; thorns and thistles it shall bring forth for you; and you shall eat the plants of the field. By the sweat of your face you shall eat bread until you return to the ground, for out of it you were taken; you are dust, and to dust you shall return.”

 

Ephesians 2:1-10 By Grace you are Saved!

  You were dead through the trespasses and sins in which you once lived, following the course of this world, following the ruler of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work among those who are disobedient.  All of us once lived among them in the passions of our flesh, following the desires of flesh and senses, and we were by nature children of wrath, like everyone else.  But God, who is rich in mercy, out of the great love with which he loved us  even when we were dead through our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ — by grace you have been saved — and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus,  so that in the ages to come he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.  For by grace you have been saved through faith, and this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God—  not the result of works, so that no one may boast.  For we are what he has made us, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand to be our way of life.

 

James 2:14-26 Faith AND Deeds

What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them? Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food.  If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it?  In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead. But someone will say, “You have faith; I have deeds.” Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by my deeds. You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that—and shudder.You foolish person, do you want evidence that faith without deeds is useless? Was not our father Abraham considered righteous for what he did when he offered his son Isaac on the altar?You see that his faith and his actions were working together, and his faith was made complete by what he did. And the scripture was fulfilled that says,“Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness," and he was called God’s friend. You see that a person is considered righteous by what they do and not by faith alone. In the same way, was not even Rahab the prostitute considered righteous for what she did when she gave lodging to the spies and sent them off in a different direction? As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead.



What can be our reward, if not in this life?

Matthew 5:1-12 The Beatitudes
When Jesus saw the crowds, he went up the mountain; and after he sat down, his disciples came to him.  Then he began to speak, and taught them, saying:
“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
“Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
“Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.
“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.
“Blessed are the merciful, for they will receive mercy.
“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.
“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.
“Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
“Blessed are you when people revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account.  Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

Not everyone catches on and becomes a Christian or Disciple right away. What of them? Is there hope for the stragglers?

Matthew 20:1-16 The Laborers in the Vineyard
“For the kingdom of heaven is like a landowner who went out early in the morning to hire laborers for his vineyard.   After agreeing with the laborers for the usual daily wage, he sent them into his vineyard. When he went out about nine o’clock, he saw others standing idle in the marketplace;  and he said to them, ‘You also go into the vineyard, and I will pay you whatever is right.’ So they went.  When he went out again about noon and about three o’clock, he did the same.  And about five o’clock he went out and found others standing around; and he said to them, ‘Why are you standing here idle all day?’  They said to him, ‘Because no one has hired us.’ He said to them, ‘You also go into the vineyard.’ 
  When evening came, the owner of the vineyard said to his manager, ‘Call the laborers and give them their pay, beginning with the last and then going to the first.’  When those hired about five o’clock came, each of them received the usual daily wage. Now when the first came, they thought they would receive more; but each of them also received the usual daily wage. And when they received it, they grumbled against the landowner, saying, ‘These last worked only one hour, and you have made them equal to us who have borne the burden of the day and the scorching heat.’ But he replied to one of them, ‘Friend, I am doing you no wrong; did you not agree with me for the usual daily wage? Take what belongs to you and go; I choose to give to this last the same as I give to you.  Am I not allowed to do what I choose with what belongs to me? Or are you envious because I am generous?’ So the last will be first, and the first will be last.”
 
What if I'm not ready to give up my treasures, my pleasures, my vanity?
  What is Vanity?
"Or vainglory, an inordinate desire to manifest one's own excellence. It differs from pride, which is the uncontrolled esrie for self-esteem, in that vanity primarily seeks to show others what a person has or has achieved. A vain person looks for praise from others and may go to great lengths to obtain it. More commonly, vanity is associated with an exaggerated importance attached to multiple details, especially external appearances, which in no way contain the value attributed to them. It is ostentation in fashion, wealth, or power regarded as an occasion of empty pride. thus where pride, though sinful, may have some foundation in fact for whatever one prides oneself on being or having done, vanity is the idle effort to obtain recognition or respect for what a person does not have a rightful claim to. Vanity is attributed to shams, which lack substance and are deceitful (like human praise); or to things without solidity and permanence (such as physical beauty); or to means that fail in their purpose (such as vaunting one's own reputation). It is an inflated pride and, as such, is venially sinful. " - by Catholic Culture
It is desirable to attribute all success to the Glory of God!

Matthew 5:16
In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven.

Is there anything in your life that holds you down?
Does it put your family into deep debt?
Does it place a façade over who you really are?
Can you live without it?
Does it prevent you from being charitable or available to others?
Will it help you become the person God wants you to be?

Ephesisans 5:15-17
Be careful then how you live, not as unwise people but as wise,  making the most of the time, because the days are evil.  So do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.

In conclusion, vanity is when we need our possessions and pride in order to live. Vanity seeks to make tangible things gods - which is against God's commandments. It consumes our days, taking us away from Godly tasks and holy relationships. We'd  be willing to sin or make life difficult to have these things.  Vanity can destroy our path to holiness! However, grace is finding the beauty in our humility, our blessings, our sacrifices, and ourselves. Grace is a gift given to us that opens our eyes to see as God sees. With grace, the things we possess enhance our livelihood and God's creation. Grace is forgiving, fruitful, and selfless. Who wouldn't want grace!?

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NOTICE

Children are a gift from God. Motherhood is a vocation.

God never gives you more than you can handle. His grace is enough.

God knows better. He knows what he's doing. He doesn't make mistakes.

 

If this is so, than what God has gifted me with is just as He intended and He will give me the grace to fulfill His will.

 

 

Can I have such confidence in this, when every day I wake up tired and dreading the work to be done? Or is it me, that in dreading it, that has not accepted the gifts He's given? Can I work myself into a state of dragging myself to bed late each night after a day of cleaning and caring for my family, and still be grateful? Yes.

 

I've grown bitter towards the life I asked for. How dare I scoff at God for what He must consider to be the greatest of blessings…

 

I see a messy house… He sees a lovely home.

I see piles upon piles of laundry… He sees that my children are clothed and playful.

I see lawn mowing, weeding, staining, repairs… He sees land to roam on, flowers blooming, and handiwork.

I hear children whining… He hears children begging for time with their parents.

I hear about our debts… He hears that we are providing the best we can.

I hear silence between me and my spouse… He hears our prayers of thanks for each other.

I feel tired and worn… He feels that I've been busy living and need to let go of unnecessary worry.

I feel lonely… He feels sad that I've forgotten He's always there and gave me a family and friends to lean on.

I feel unappreciated… He feels the same.

 

So when I look back on my day of sorrows and woe, stresses and chaos, debts and chores… I must consider what the Lord sees, hears and feels about my day and PRAISE HIM for it. Why? Because He gave me another day.

 

Another day to see, hear, feel and act differently.

Another day to be grateful that we are fed, clothed and sheltered.

Another day to be grateful for a yard to relax and play in.

Another day to be grateful for a home that memories are made in.

Another day to be grateful for my children and spouse who keep me company, love me and need my talents and love to make this day special for them too.

Another day to offer up my hardships and sufferings to save lost souls.

Another day to know, love and serve God better in all that I have, all that I am and all that I do.

 

I am so blessed, if I'd only notice.

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Holy Week Factual Studies

THURSDAY: The Last Supper

 

 

 

Maunday Thursday

The Holy Eucharist Documentation

Eucharistic Miracles

 

 

The Lamb’s Supper by Dr. Scott Hahn

 

 

FRIDAY: The Passion of Jesus Christ

The Passion in full medical detail

 

 

 

Movie: The Passion of the Christ

 

 

The Removal of the Body of Jesus from the Cross

SATURDAY: A Test of Faith

Living through Holy Saturday: A Reflection on Times of Uncertainty

 

Real Discoveries’ The Garden Tomb of Jesus

 

Discovery Channel’s The Lost Tomb of Jesus (You Tube)

 

Evidence that says it is not the tomb

 

SUNDAY: Where did He go? He rose, but didn’t leave right away…

 

 

Easter to Pentecost – A 50 day journey 

(Children’s activity)

 

The Shroud of Turin, what was left in the tomb

(Shroud website 2, website 3, website 4)

[Most Likely] The Holy Face of Jesus

 

 

My dad, a Deacon in the Catholic Church, sings this every Easter Vigil. It is the Exsultet. I have fond memories practicing it with him, as well as assisting with the Stations of the Cross during Lent.

Rejoice, heavenly powers! Sing, choirs of angels!
Exult, all creation around God's throne!
Jesus Christ, our King, is risen!
Sound the trumpet of salvation!
Rejoice, O earth, in shining splendor,
radiant in the brightness of your King!
Christ has conquered! Glory fills you!
Darkness vanishes for ever!
Rejoice, O Mother Church! Exult in glory!
The risen Savior shines upon you!
Let this place resound with joy,
echoing the mighty song of all God's people!
[My dearest friends, standing with me in this holy light,
join me in asking God for mercy,
that he may give his unworthy minister
grace to sing his Easter praises.]
[V. The Lord be with you.
R. And also with you.]
V. Lift up your hearts.
R. We lift them up to the Lord.
V. Let us give thanks to the Lord our God.
R. It is right to give him thanks and praise.
It is truly right
that with full hearts and minds and voices
we should praise the unseen God, the all-powerful Father,
and his only Son, our Lord Jesus Christ.
For Christ has ransomed us with his blood,
and paid for us the price of Adam's sin
to our eternal Father!
This is our passover feast,
when Christ, the true Lamb, is slain,
whose blood consecrates the homes of all believers.
This is the night when first you saved our fathers:
you freed the people of Israel from their slavery
and led them dry-shod through the sea.
This is the night when the pillar of fire
destroyed the darkness of sin!
This is the night when Christians everywhere,
washed clean of sin
and freed from all defilement,
are restored to grace and grow together in holiness.
This is the night when Jesus Christ
broke the chains of death
and rose triumphant from the grave.
What good would life have been to us,
had Christ not come as our Redeemer?
Father, how wonderful your care for us!
How boundless your merciful love!
To ransom a slave
you gave away your Son.
O happy fault, O necessary sin of Adam,
which gained for us so great a Redeemer!
Most blessed of all nights, chosen by God
to see Christ rising from the dead!
Of this night scripture says:
"The night will be as clear as day:
it will become my light, my joy."
The power of this holy night
dispels all evil, washes guilt away,
restores lost innocence, brings mourners joy;
it casts out hatred, brings us peace, and humbles earthly pride.
Night truly blessed when heaven is wedded to earth
and man is reconciled with God!
Therefore, heavenly Father, in the joy of this night,
receive our evening sacrifice of praise,
your Church's solemn offering.
Accept this Easter candle,
a flame divided but undimmed,
a pillar of fire that glows to the honor of God.
Let it mingle with the lights of heaven
and continue bravely burning
to dispel the darkness of this night!
May the morning Star which never sets find this flame
still burning:
Christ, that Morning Star, who came back from the dead,
and shed his peaceful light on all mankind,
your Son who lives and reigns for ever and ever.
R. Amen.

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Bin there?

I've taken a lot of time off from blogging, because I have found that the more I blog and read blogs, the more I get backed up on IRL things. I start to feel guilty about all the things I'm not doing. "The internet has a way of sucking the life out of life!"

Have you ever had a bad habit that you just couldn't shake? Well, that is what I'm working on this Lenten season. Shaking off the bad habits. Pulling out all the stops that are blocking my successes. Tackling the things that have been swept under the rug. You get the picture.

My family brought out a Sacrifice Bin this year. We all added something we wanted to give up for the 40 days of Lent. My oldest daughter put in her mp3 player, which she needs to learn their is a time and place for wearing it. My oldest son not realizing what was going on put in his favorite and largest John Deere toy tractor. He is learning that each toy needs to be treated with respect and we should be grateful for all the toys we have. My younger daugter, only 2, took her Tinkerbell musical toy and nonshalauntly put it in the bin. This is a toy she would turn on its "memorable" tune every morning to let us know she was awake. So yes, a blessing for the rest of us.

Of course, now it was Mommy's turn. After many laps around the house, I decided to put in a sealed envelope every credit card I had. No more extra spending during Lent. If you know me, you know this is HUGE of me to do. Each year too much money is put on those cards instead of purchasing with what we have. This has proven to be very effective, since I have been tempted to make many online orders since then - with the realization I had no CC number to enter at the checkout.

I keep telling myself that I will nudge my bad habits out of the way, one at a time - because that is all I can seem to handle. Many years ago it began with stopping my nail biting, which my little girl seems to enjoy doing. Years later I worked on not smothering my husband with PDA (public displays of affection). He has since tried to be more attentive to my clingy nature, or as my high school friends called me "Klingon." Yep, my Dad is proud, I'm officially a science fiction character.

So now I'm working on keeping bad food out of my mouth and my credit cards safe in my wallet for emergencies only. As God as my witness, I will get there. It's just a matter of when. As far as the "how," I think I'll keep that bin on hand for more than just 40 days.

What bad habit will you toss in the bin???

Now here's the funny part:

My husband decided (upon our insitance) that he will "Throw in the Towel" this Lent. He has been a dream guy for me, taking care of the laundry, dishes, washing floors and toilets, and more. Now he's working 10 hour nights and with our baby reaching almost 8 months old, I am ready to take on the tasks he's been doing for me. So HE IS NOT ALLOWED to do any of these chores for 40 days. So far, not so good. That stinker is making up excuses and cleaning anyways! He just can't help himself. He says, "Oh, I was looking for my pants at the bottom of the laundry basket, so I just put the rest away as long as I was digging through."  My daughter reprimanded him for doing dishes just yesterday. The nerve of the guy - how dare he be so nice! :)  I love him to pieces, and it makes me want to take over the chores even more. Luckily the kids are old enough that they are being taught how to help with it all.

Sacrifice Bin idea found here:
http://catholicicing.blogspot.com/2010/02/lenten-sacrifice-ideas-and-activities.html

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A Lenten Reflection

By Fr. Campbell
Associate Pastor at Epiphany Catholic Church

At times, almost unnoticed by ourselves, we drift away from God. We get caught up in practices and routines that lead us away from prayer and God and into a lifestyle focusing primarily on ourselves. During lent, Jesus calls us to rededicate ourselves to the gospel values, focusing our efforts and attention on God and others.

Somebody said to me once, "I am giving up my New Year's resolutions for Lent." We have often thought of Lent in the context of giving up something. Jesus' invitation doesn't seem to be about giving up something, but rather changing the momentum of our direction away from self interest activities toward self giving. Before Lent begins, I always like to take an assessment on where I am and what God is asking me to improve upon. I have always found this little prayer helpful in getting the right frame of mind to do so and I would like to share it with you.

What to give up...
Give up complaining——focus on gratitude.
Give up pessimism——become an optimist.
Give up harsh judgments——think kindly thoughts.
Give up worry——trust Divine Providence.
Give up discouragement——be full of hope.
Give up bitterness——turn to forgiveness.
Give up hatred——return good for evil.
Give up negativism——be positive.
Give up anger——be more patient.
Give up pettiness——become mature.
Give up gloom——enjoy the beauty that is all around you.
Give up jealousy - - pray for trust.
Give up gossiping - - control your tounge.
Give up sin - - turn to virtue.
Give up giving up - - hang in there!

God bless you all and I hope you have a grace filled Lent.

HT: Thanks mom for passing this one onto me!
(it is also found here)

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You can never care too much!

Just a note to let everyone know that I am feeling better. Allowing my true self to be shown here on this blog is a great release, and seeing what positive support I have from many of you helped me get through the stress associated with posting hard truths.

My husband was so kind as to get my massage therapist, Henry, to come on over and relieve the excrutiating pain in my shoulders and rest of my body. It took longer than usual to break down the tension. It was that bad. It was so bad last Monday, it was too hard to deal with anything emotional the physical pain was so overbearing. Today I don't feel as beat up, and got a better nights sleep. I think I can finally enjoy my 2nd trimester.

Yesterday I saw my psychologist/therapist, who is a gem of a woman. I told her every little detail, and she was very encouraging and commended me on my progress. Usually it would take me a week or so to move past the hurt, but it only took me one day this time. I explained my faith life and little support groups have set me up for success. There is no need for hopelessness when you have God's love through confession, adoration, family and positive friendships. So thank you all. Thank you God.

I've come to the conclusion that the way I care for others is a blessing and not a burden. I just need to learn moderation. That does not mean I hold back. It means that when my caring for others makes me feel unable to function as a mother and wife, that is when I need to put it aside for awhile until I feel up to the challenge.

I explained it to my mother this way: Mom, you care for people very much. You offer advice and offer yourself to others frequently. Sometimes it works out, and sometimes it hurts. But, you can still function and move on from it when it doesn't work out the way you hoped. - - - When it comes to me, I am have enherited that caring and giving spirit. The difference is, when it doesn't work out the way I want it to... I dwell on it and I feel deep sorrow and need big pushes of encouragement to move on.

My new way of approaching this is to realize that God is directing me to plant seeds of faith and His truth. Even when there is a lot of rocky ground out there. But it is not up to me to till the soil, that's God's work. And even if I don't get around to planting a seed when the opportunity presents itself, God will take care of them. That understanding brings great relief to me.

I see this caring and giving spirit in my daughter, Mikayla. She is only 6, but she has it in boat loads. You know, like the ARK... Acts of Random Kidness. (That's from the movie Evan Almighty, one of her favorites.) Anyways, I can only hope to be a positive influence on how she can act upon this spirit, so that she never loses the desire for it.

So, I am doing very well today. A little stressed over catching up on housework and homework. But nothing I can't handle. Heck, it's the weekend and tomorrow night is date night for Tom and I - dinner and dancing! I'm a happy gal.

God Bless,
Melissa

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Things happen for a reason.

Hello readers. It appears there are more of you than I knew about. A so-so blog has turned into a hot topic link among family and friends, and some aquaintences. While it is nice to see that I have more readers, some who just choose not to comment until it affects them personally, it brings me to that point so many of you fellow bloggers have been at one time or another. You will never forget that post you made, when you got some comments or calls you weren't expecting and wish you never got??? Sound familiar? Then when you're already feeling bummed out, you have to decide if your blog is worth keeping. You have to decide whether to respond or delete. I'm there.

Most of you know that I have a family blog, where I post about family tips, and things that are happening with my family. It keeps our friends and family updated on our everyday things, and connects me to other mom's who are like-minded. It's a good thing.

So when I started feeling like journaling more about touchy subjects, like politics and religion, I figured I better keep that blogging separate from my family. This Growing in Grace blog has developed into a place where I can share silly MEMEs, interesting articles or videos worth sharing, and discussions I care about as a faithful Catholic. It's very personal.

A few weeks ago I realized that I enjoyed sharing more hot topics, because it brought readers and comments I was looking for. While reading other blogs, I saw there was a demand for blogs about living the faith in the public eye. So last week I decided to share a personal experience and how I was currently dealing with it.

I do admit, even though at the time I thought I was being vague, I was told yesterday that I gave enough detail to stir up ill emotions and cause some unexpected discussions to arise from those mentioned in the post. I have gone through the post the best I can to create anonymity for those people, without deleting it completely. It contains good points and things I want to share. My dad explained that politics and religious truths are already in the public eye and open for discussion complete with names, but I need to be careful not to publicize opinion nor fact about those in my private connections (or something like that), which may hurt them. So excuse me for stepping on toes that were put in my path. You'll either have to avoid my path, or rest assured that I'll keep your name/identity more private in the future.

So what's all this fuss about?

Well, I have put myself on the line to help others and find help from others. I have opened the pages of my life, the knowledge in my brain, and the understanding the Holy Spirit has bestowed upon me. Because of this, I have been hurt badly. I knew it was coming, and I promised God I would take with a grain of salt.

Sadly, my depresssion has elevated, possibly due to pregnancy hormones, but worse than before no matter how. I will never reach complete hopelessness, because I have God in my life. He alone has pulled me through each and every bottomed out moment. Yes, there have been many. Sometime God pulls me through it with His voice, or that of my husband's or dear friends and family. Yes, you must believe that God works on his own, AND through others. I often feel the presence of God urging me to do his work for others. It's funny how people love it until it challenges them to make a change in THEIR life.

In the midst of my dispair, I have found the TRUTH and the LIGHT and HOPE. It is God as the Blessed Trinity, which has shown me the real way to live with purpose. Of course, I am not perfect in my personal efforts towards sanctifying grace, I slip and fall, but unlike some others in my "private connections," I get back up and keep following. I DO find ways to strengthen myself, such as through the Catholic Eucharist, confession, bible study, and frienships which nuture this path. I DO NOT find ways to compromise my faith to feel better about my wrong decisions. I DO NOT stray from my faith and find another one that makes me feel better about the life I want. Because GOD'S WILL is so much better than my own. And that's a proven fact.

> This issue began with a post about disturbing truths about our President and his administration, and concern for those who support him regardless. We hoped to inform. We hoped for a respectful discussion. Instead we got rejected, bombarded with hatred for OUR beliefs and facts shared, ignored than ridiculed, and expected to reply in a nice, submissive and compromising way. Who the heck do you think we are? A bunch of gullable idiots who were raised by imbisuls? Quite the contrary. I am not sorry, I have not changed my opinon on the matter, and will not waiver on my faith for anyone.

I WILL NOT agree to disagree, or simply try to "understand" those who are following the wrong path. That is the most wimped out excuse to pretend and divert from the TRUTH. The friend I wrote about in my last post, who hurt me deeply and wants me to just turn this into a

"...success story where you could have then shared a beautiful outcome of
forgiveness and understanding"

She wrote "that the issues of the present and the past have been posted for the world to see before [I have] even taken the opportunity to discuss feelings with" her. Which is absurd, since a few weeks ago I tried to discuss this and got the silent treatment and the discussion was deleted and never readdressed privately."

She doesn't understand that even though her compromises in life which have separated us, and the bitterness of her family towards mine, a "beautiful outcome" has already been reached - she just can't see it. She needs to know I have already forgiven her over and over again, and do again today for the ways she has hurt me, how she turned her back on me and her faith. That I understand that she has been manipulated by others and her worldly thoughts away from the faith that she could have embraced, and hopefully someday will. I still see potential in her, and will continue to pray for her. But due to my own human frailty, I cannot resolve this all now. The beautiful outcome is that I continue to hold no grudges, even though I am serverly bruised by her and her family's actions.

With regards to others that were mentioned, some took it well and others not. The addition of those paragraphs about others were meant to emphasize the condition I am in. To let readers understand that it is not just this one incident that brings me down in despair. It is interesting that some have insisted in being a part of my life, yet want little to do with the part of me that cares for them back. It leaves me feeling used. I think I've made amends with those two particular people and there is some understanding of where we're both coming from.

Why do I tend to burden myself with such things?

I care too much? (especially about how people feel about me) Someone once wrote in my yearbook: "Melissa, you're too nice." What the heck does that mean? I didn't realize my concern for others was such a burden. I didn't realize that my love and hope for the prosperity of human kind was overreaching.

It is built into my nature to care more than most. To contemplate more than most. To feel personally attacked, when others can brush it off. A small portion of it is neurological, and will be numbed (treated) with medication after the baby is born. The kind of meds that make me not care as much, yet never get rid of the situations. Most of these feelings are a constant yearning and desire to help others, as embedded in my heart by God from the moment I was concieved. To deny this, is to deny God's will for me. To let go of it would be selfish. And to follow through with it to the full extent that God asks of all of us, is really a dying to myself. How did I come to this conclusion, you ask? Through gifts of the Holy Spirit, and enlightened by my current study of the book "Courageous Love" as I've written about before. The book really calls you to action.


SO UNTIL I AM PAST THIS SADNESS:

I will be consoling myself in God's love. I will be detaining my compelling desire to share my concerns and advice with others close to me. I am asking God to lift this cross, as it is too much to bear at this time. OR that He will show me how this fits into my path. I will gladly accept the other crosses I bear on a daily basis, per His instructions to me last Thursday night in adoration. To care for my children and household first. And I will gladly pick up that heavy cross with love and charity again when my soul is mended.

Last night I curled into bed around 5pm again, like last week. I was so overraught with concern and sadness, as well as physical pain from my shoulders and hips. My husband set up this week an at home massage with my usual people, and told me it was all taken care of. He ran over to Applebees to calm my craving for an Oriental Chicken Salad. Then cleaned up and put the kids to bed. He is so sweet and understanding. He is Christ-like to me every day, even when it seems like too much for him to bear. I guess I'm his Cross.

GOD SPEAKS: A REVELATION

Of course I turned on the boob tube, and watched AFV and That 70s Show for a good laugh, then Medium for a thrill. Anything to take my mind of how I felt. But then it came time for my usual reruns of Scrubs, which I watch almost every night. Well, this one (watch it here) actually spoke to me. The focus was on this head nurse who always talks about her faith in Jesus, who states that even bad things happen for a reason. And amidst this "wow" moment of mine, the nurse even quoted:

Romans 8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those
who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

WHAT CAN YOU DO IF YOU ARE CONCERNED?

What I need is respect and love from those who are in my circle. I ask that you continue with your positive encouragement and suggestions. They have indeed been very helpful. Here are some of my favorites...

"you have to let people love you, like, or hate you the way they want - it stinks sometimes, but at least it's authentic... ...do what is right and so what if you don't ever see or taste any fruits of your labors. You have to trust that He is tilling the fields for you"

"Our beliefs should be strongly and loyally held, otherwise why have them?!"

"I know that when my own personal pray life is in order, as well as my family’s prayer life…I am more successful in situations like these. ...when all this confrontation was happening to me, I figured this was a nudge from the Lord to deepen MY own relationship with him."

St. Theresa's Prayer (I recieved in an email today):

'May today there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content with yourself just the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us.'

Something I once wrote which connects with last weekend's gospel reading:
Jesus touched the lepers, talked to them, healed them. It was contrary to what others had ever done. Contrary to the worldly view that politics and religion should be a private matter and unspeakable amongst friends... God is calling many of us followers to share his message on the issues that should matter to everyone - not just Catholics!

Thank you to all who took the time to read this long post. I hope it will clear the air, and help you see what I envision for this blog. I hope it will inspire you to pray to step up to what God is calling you to do with your life, and BE NOT AFRAID because God is present in every moment. And in a moment of dispair, realize that even then blessings can come forth - because God wills it to be so!

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Seeking Serenity, again

UPDATE: This has been edited because those involved want to be censored/anonymous.

I am a fully functional person, full of emotions, who's a procrastinator but performs wonderfully under pressure. Today and yesterday was simply that - a "functional" day. I got up, I talked/wrote a bit, I ate, I made sure the kids stayed alive and fed. Other than that, I was a zombie.

Some of it stems from the fact that just a few weeks ago on facebook, my husband and I posted a simple comment. A "friend" had posted that she had joined the Barack Obama fan club, this was about a day before the inauguration. My hubby's words didn't come out right, but still clearly emphasizing that we could not support a president who's high ranked priority is to make murder via abortion easier. I was so proud of him, and this was very unlike him. Before she even read our brief comments, her 2 brothers chimed in with some vicious and hurtful comments. While responding after much prayer, she began to delete all comments and remove us from her friends/viewing list. I don't even know how much of my response she read. I do know her brothers didn't see my replies at all.

This is a "friend" I grew up with, played with, considered to be like a sister. The older of the brothers, I had looked up to him as if he was my own. I looked past their occasional teasing over the years. She meant so much to me, that when she began talking lightly about drug and alcohol use as a teen, I was concerned and had my mom and her mother intervene. I wasn't sure how serious she was about what she said. So as taught at school I informed my parents OUT OF LOVE I TELL YOU! Of course she lied her way out of it, or she had lied to me and others present. But did she see that, heck no. Years passed, we seemed to let it go, and soon we were involved in each others weddings. I planned her Bridal Shower, and helped with her Baby Shower. Because she meant that much to me. While visiting me recently, she told me she had decided to switch from Catholicism to Lutheran, as her husband is. I stayed polite, since she was my guest, and made strong efforts to pray for her instead of confronting her as I wanted to. But a part of me regreted not discussing it with her in depth. In recent adoration, I had felt called to watch out for her, pray for her, and discuss her new lifestyle with her.

After the "facebook incident" I knew that it would be months or years before she'd move on, as before. And despite my sorrow and fear, last Sunday I attended a gathering at her mom's house. I knew Tom and I were in for either a debate or the silent treatment. I'll be honest, I was hoping for a debate, I was prepared for a debate - but we got the silent treatment instead. I tried light conversation, with little success. Contrary to my usual self, I barely said a word the whole day. I tried not to let it crush my spirits. Yet, it did.

Without going into much detail... At the same time someone very close to me has had a hard time hearing my honest opinions. Last night's chat made it clear that it is best that I just stay out of it all together, even though it affects me deeply.

I am also having friend issues. The same idea that my opinions and self-giving love aren't worthy of respect. That if I don't follow along, than I'm out of the game all together. I hate that - I should be able to enjoy my life, and if I don't want to join in on someone else's idea of fun - I should not have to make excuses, and I should not feel bad about it. I love to be social, but I have social anxieties that many just do not respect. You just might have to drag me kicking and screaming, otherwise say "That's okay, maybe next time you'll feel up to it."

I have had the "just get over it" look or talk given to me one too many times. For those who don't realize - I CAN'T! If I do, it will eat away at me, until I leak everything else out at once. Believe me, my husband doesn't enjoy that at all - because he gets the brunt of it.

So last night, when the heartache got too much to bear, I crawled in bed around 5pm and didn't get out until 11am this morning. I asked Tom if I should go back to my old self, when people liked me a lot. You know, the person who is a good listener, a great friend, but doesn't express her own opinion and focuses on everyone but herself. I remember how many friends I had, but I also remember how used I felt. My weight gain is the best visual of how it hurt.

I decided it would be easier to just go numb to myself, be a functioning person, live my life for God and my family in a more quiet way. It's hard, because I always thought of myself as an evangelist who would someday help others through the armageddon turmoil. But evangelization IS knowledge displayed through positive emotion. It's being a loud example. I just can't get to that positive state of mind with all this heartache and many dead ends.

• What do you do when you want to help others, but they won't let you help them?
• How do you soften that rocky soil, or can't you?
• How can you be an example to others, when no one wants to look at you?
• What parts of myself am I willing to sacrifice to be seen by others?
• When will my wisdom show merit?

I try not to have any regrets, and pull the positive out of any situation. I am hoping that God can fill the voids in my heart, and pull me out of this misery. I know people out there generally care about me as a person, just not in the depth that I need. However, I am lucky that my husband genuinely cares enough to help me through it the best he can.

God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

Courage to change the things I can,

and the Wisdom to know the difference.

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Validation

Do you need validation?

Watch this video short (16 min), it's Sooooo worth the time!

Recognize the main guy? He's the [rich] scientist on the TV show Bones.

Anyways, this film represents what we can do as Christian people, to bring out the best in others. Try to validate someone you know today.

H/T: Charlotte

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New & Old Catholic Traditions

While spending endless hours trying to catch up on reading blogs and emails after a few week break... I came across an interesting topic or set of topics regarding traditions of the Catholic Church. I thought I'd share my findings and opinions. Thank you to all who are participating in this - blogging and online research seems to be the new way of finding out the truths of our Catholic Faith.

The Roman Missal - A New English Translation by 2010

The USSCB has an article regarding the current english translation of the Roman Missal. This article as well as others, discuss how there is a committee appointed and blessed by Pope Benedict XVI, who's current studies show that there need to be a few minor changes in the American Mass. The Catholic Knight Blog seems to have sparked some interest in this being a positive move, as I agree - but for different reasons than he presents in his blog. He refers to an article about the current American Mass being "defective." This committee is working diligently to have these changes presented to bishops and priests by the year 2010. Of course, it will be awhile later before we see it in full at church. I am certain they want a smooth transition for all of us Catholics who are conformed to the almost 40 year old way. Making sure this was all "kosher" with the Vatican... I found this letter from the Pope blessing the committee.

I know many of my Traditional Latin Mass friends are excited about this change. But with all change comes opposition... so please pray for the souls of the faithful. I personally think that if something needs to be more defined or redefined, based on new translations stemming from new research... then let it happen. It will only make us stronger, right?

Will we see a return to Church Veils????
Again, this Catholic Knight seems to have gotten this discussion started. You may have read about it on Ora et Labora or Totus Tuus Family blogs or listed on the right side bar at Shower of Roses.

Their discussion stems from the tradition of women wearing veils or hats at Church prior to the change in the Canon Law in 1983. The previous tradition was enforced by church leaders, but is no longer stated in the new law. Those who still wear veils, want us to know that this is a right that was never taken away. It is no longer a law or enforced, but the tradition of it - and its original intent is still worth consideration. Am I understanding you all right?

Of course I wanted to know where this really all stems from - church documents or journalistic manipulations? I found this article helpful, from Fatima Family, which states there is no longer a force of this law, yet there is nothing restraining us from doing so either. It IS a personal decision and it is NOT a sin to not wear a veil to Mass or Adoration. But for those who chose to wear a traditional head covering when in the True Presence of Christ, they are always a good example of modesty.

I personally feel that wearing veils is up to the individual, if used respectfully and not as just another fashion trend. If it helps you be more devoted and modest, go for it. I personally believe that I will not have a better faith life or incur more blessings by covering my head while in church. I am not trying to disrespect God or the Angels by not wearing one. I however do attend in modest dress. I do not agree that it should be enforced as it was before the 1970s. I do agree that women who chose to wear a mantila or head covering be resepcted for their decision and let alone.

I think instead of a focus on whether or not to wear head coverings, there should be a nation wide effort to focus on teaching modesty in dress for all ages when attending Mass and in the secular world. I think if we simply enforce head coverings, you will begin to see baseball caps and other rediculous styles popular today - and/or it will lead to more vanity. It should be a choice just as much as it is a choice to wear slacks, a skirt, or a dress to Church. Hopefully more will begin to make the modest choices.

Isn't Fasting just for Lent?

I have heard discussions about fasting on all Fridays of the year, not just during Lent. Of course that peaked my curiosity. I went straight to the Code of Canon Law for my answer. You know, our faith is not just based on the Bible. It stands on three balanced legs of Writings, Tradition, and Papal Authority. Those things laid down for us by Christ and his first disciples. I figure their word is good enough for me, I don't have to refer to other websites or blogs for this.

The Canon Law has a section regarding Days of Penance:

Can. 1249 The divine law binds all the Christian faithful to do
penance each in his or her own way. In order for all to be united among
themselves by some common observance of penance, however, penitential days are
prescribed on which the Christian faithful devote themselves in a special way to
prayer, perform works of piety and charity, and deny themselves by fulfilling
their own obligations more faithfully and especially by observing fast and
abstinence, according to the norm of the following canons.
Can. 1250 The penitential days and times in the universal Church are every Friday
of the whole year and the season of Lent.
Can. 1251 Abstinence
from meat, or from some other food as determined by the Episcopal Conference, is
to be observed on all Fridays, unless a solemnity should fall on a Friday.
Abstinence and fasting are to be observed on Ash Wednesday and Good
Friday.
Can. 1252 The law of abstinence binds those who have completed
their fourteenth year. The law of fasting binds those who have attained their
majority, until the beginning of their sixtieth year. Pastors of souls and
parents are to ensure that even those who by reason of their age are not bound
by the law of fasting and abstinence, are taught the true meaning of
penance.
Can. 1253 The conference of bishops can determine more
precisely the observance of fast and abstinence as well as substitute other
forms of penance, especially works of charity and exercises of piety, in whole
or in part, for abstinence and fast.

Well, I hope you enjoyed learning more about the Catholic Faith. I encourage you to say your peace here, whatever your thoughts. Just try to be respectful of people's decisions, because no matter what we wear or what language we say the Mass in.. we are still all Children of God trying to live our faith the best we know how.

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Advent Conspiracy

I was impressed when I saw this video and wanted to share it with you immediately. I'm going to change my ways this year too. It does make a difference that we're really poor this year compared to others, but I'm more motivated now than before I saw it...

HT: Keeper of the Keys

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Accepting God's Will

The article below is in whole and discusses that even though things happen which do not seem to be of God, that it is still God's Divine Providence. It is God's Will for this election of Obama to occur inorder for our lives to move in a preconcieved way...



Catholic Family News Article - 11/5/2008


Abandonment to Divine Providence
By Father Reginald Garrigou-Lagrange

Why should we abandon ourselves to Divine Providence?

The answer of every Christian will be that the reason lies in the wisdom and goodness of Providence. This is very true; nevertheless, if we are to have a proper understanding of the subject, if we are to avoid the error of the Quietists in renouncing more or less the virtue of hope and the struggle necessary for salvation, if we are to avoid also the other extreme of disquiet, precipitation, and a feverish, fruitless agitation, it is expedient for us to lay down four principles already somewhat accessible to natural reason and clearly set forth in revelation as found in Scripture. These principles underlying the true doctrine of self-abandonment also bring out the motive inspiring it.

The first of these principles is that everything which comes to pass has been foreseen by God from all eternity, and has been willed or at least permitted by Him.

Nothing comes to pass either in the material or in the spiritual world, but God has foreseen it from all eternity; because with Him there is no passing from ignorance to knowledge as with us, and He has nothing to learn from events as they occur. Not only has God foreseen everything that is happening now or will happen in the future, but whatever reality and goodness there is in these things He has willed; and whatever evil or moral disorder is in them, He has merely permitted. Holy Scripture is explicit on this point, and, as the Councils have declared, no room is left for doubt in the matter.

The second principle is that nothing can be willed or permitted by God that does not contribute to the end He purposed in creating, which is the manifestation of His goodness and infinite perfections, and the glory of the God-man Jesus Christ, His only Son. As St. Paul says, “All are yours. And you are Christ's. And Christ is God's.” (I Cor. 2: 23).

In addition to these two principles, there is a third, which St. Paul states thus:

“We know that to them that love God all things work together unto good: to such
as, according to His purpose, are called to be saints”. (Rom. 8: 28),

and persevere in His love. God sees to it that everything contributes to their spiritual welfare, not only the grace He bestows on them, not only those natural qualities He endows them with, but sickness too, and contradictions and reverses; as St. Augustine tells us, even their very sins, which God only permits in order to lead them on to a truer humility and thereby to a purer love. It was thus He permitted the threefold denial of St. Peter, to make the great Apostle more humble, more mistrustful of self, and by this very means become stronger and trust more in the Divine Mercy.

These first three principles may therefore be summed up in this way;

Nothing comes to pass but God has foreseen it, willed it or at least permitted it. He wills nothing, permits nothing, unless for the manifestation of His goodness and infinite perfections, for the glory of His Son, and the welfare of those that love Him.

In view of these three principles, it is evident that our trust in Providence cannot be too childlike, too steadfast. Indeed, we may go further and say that this trust in Providence should be blind as is our faith, the object of which is those mysteries that are non-evident and unseen (fides est de non visis) for we are certain beforehand that Providence is directing all things infallibly to a good purpose, and we are more convinced of the rectitude of His designs than we are of the best of our own intentions. Therefore, in abandoning ourselves to God, all we have to fear is that our submission will not be wholehearted enough.

In view of Quietism, however, this last sentence obliges us to lay down a fourth principle no less certain than the principles that have preceded. The principle is, that obviously self-abandonment does not dispense us from doing everything in our power to fulfill God's will as made known in the Commandments and counsels, and in the events of life; but so long as we have the sincere desire to carry out His will thus made known from day to day, we can and indeed we must abandon ourselves for the rest to the Divine Will of good pleasure, no matter how mysterious it may be, and thus avoid a useless disquiet and mere agitation.

This fourth principle is expressed in equivalent terms by the Council of Trent (Sess. VI, cap. 13), when it declares that we must all have firm hope in God's assistance and put our trust in Him, being careful at the same time to keep His commandments. As the well-known proverb has it: “Do what you ought, come what may.”

All theologians explain what is meant by the Divine Will as expressed: expressed, that is, in the Commandments, in the spirit underlying the counsels, and in the events of life. They add that, while conforming ourselves to His expressed will, we must abandon ourselves to His Divine Will of good pleasure, however mysterious it may be, for we are certain beforehand that in its holiness it wills nothing, permits nothing, unless for a good purpose.

We must take special note here of these words in the Gospel of St. Luke

“He that is faithful in that which is least is faithful also in that which is
greater.” (16: 10).

If every day we do what we can to be faithful to God in the ordinary routine of life, we may be confident that He will give us grace to remain faithful in whatever extremity we may find ourselves through His permission; and if we have to suffer for Him, He will give us the grace to die a heroic death rather than be ashamed of Him and betray Him.

These are the principles underlying the doctrine of trusting self-abandonment. Accepted as they are by all theologians, they express what is of Christian faith in this matter. The golden mean is thus above and between the two errors mentioned at the beginning of this section. By constant fidelity to duty, we avoid the false and idle repose of the. Quietist, and on the other hand by a trustful self-abandonment we are saved from a useless disquiet and a fruitless agitation. Self abandonment would be sloth did it not presuppose this daily fidelity, which indeed is a sort of springboard from which we may safely launch ourselves into the unknown. Daily fidelity to the Divine Will as expressed gives us a sort of right to abandon ourselves completely to the Divine Will of of good pleasure as yet not made known to us.

A faithful soul will often recall to mind these words of our Lord:

“My meat is to do the will of Him that sent me”(John 4: 34).

The soul finds its constant nourishment in the divine will as expressed, abandoning itself to the Divine Will as yet not made known, much as a swimmer supports himself on the passing wave and surrenders himself to the oncoming wave, to that ocean that might engulf him but that actually sustains him. So the soul must strike out toward the open sea, into the infinite ocean of being, says St. John Damascence, borne up by the Divine Will as made known there and then and abandoning itself to that divine will upon which all successive moments of the future depend.

The future is with God, future events are in His hands. If the merchants to whom Joseph was sold by his brethren had passed by one hour sooner, he would not have gone into Egypt, and the whole course of his life would have been changed. Our lives also are dependent on events controlled by God. Daily fidelity and trusting abandonment thus give the spiritual life its balance, its stability and harmony. In this way we live our lives in almost continuous recollection, in an ever-increasing self-abnegation, and these are the conditions normally requited for contemplation and union with God. This, then, is the reason why our life should be one of self-abandonment to the Divine Will as yet unknown to us and at the same time supported every moment by that will as already made known to us.

HT: Catholic Fire & a homeschool friend named Karla

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Learning to Sacrifice Week 6: I have God's Word

This week is the first meeting of our Catholic Women's Book Club. We are going to be studying the bible using the Courageous Love book. It looks wonderful, but I let them know ahead of time - I am not a reader. I have never really enjoyed reading, and rarely finish a book no matter how interesting it is. So this ought to be quite the feat if I get through it all.

What I am proposing to myself is to give up any nighttime TV I may be tempted to watch, and read this book and the Bible instead. I am not guaranteeing anything, but I am putting my remote down, and picking up something that is much more enriching. Who knows what graces God will pour down on me this time?

I may not have God's Word, as in a promise that He'll keep me focused and allow me the time to read. But I will have God's Word, in the palm of my hand for whenever I am ready to read it.

God Bless!







"I hope you are not giving of your surplus....you must give what costs you, make a sacrifice, go without something you like, that your gift may have value before God; then you will be truly brothers to the poor who are deprived of even the things they need..."


-Blessed Mother Teresa speaking to a group of rich businessmen





H/T Mrs L

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Learning to Sacrifice Week 5: Offer It Up

Anytime this week I feel crabby, irritable or whatever bad mood I am in - I am going to offer it up in prayer for the many people who are burdened with depression. That they may find relief in their day. This is how I plan to make a bad thing good.

Another week survived by the many Graces of God!

God Bless!

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Learning to Sacrifice Week 4: Procrastinator

My sacrificing just hasn't worked out. I write one thing and do another. I believe I've spent about 80% of my day on this dang computer. I love it and hate it at the same time.

This week, I am learning to sacrifice my procrastination. I have kicked a lot of bad habits, but this one just won't budge. I swear my boots are getting bruises trying.

Why do I do this to myself, day after day, and stress myself out even more? Who knows. But one thing I know - I hate it, internally and self-consciously, I hate it. There are somethings I know will never get done, but there are tasks that must be completed asap, and right now I could care less and would rather type. I'd rather escape to this digital world I've created for myself. My family barely notices anymore. What have I done?

I guess I just got my answer.

Good night.

God Bless!

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