You can never care too much!

Just a note to let everyone know that I am feeling better. Allowing my true self to be shown here on this blog is a great release, and seeing what positive support I have from many of you helped me get through the stress associated with posting hard truths.

My husband was so kind as to get my massage therapist, Henry, to come on over and relieve the excrutiating pain in my shoulders and rest of my body. It took longer than usual to break down the tension. It was that bad. It was so bad last Monday, it was too hard to deal with anything emotional the physical pain was so overbearing. Today I don't feel as beat up, and got a better nights sleep. I think I can finally enjoy my 2nd trimester.

Yesterday I saw my psychologist/therapist, who is a gem of a woman. I told her every little detail, and she was very encouraging and commended me on my progress. Usually it would take me a week or so to move past the hurt, but it only took me one day this time. I explained my faith life and little support groups have set me up for success. There is no need for hopelessness when you have God's love through confession, adoration, family and positive friendships. So thank you all. Thank you God.

I've come to the conclusion that the way I care for others is a blessing and not a burden. I just need to learn moderation. That does not mean I hold back. It means that when my caring for others makes me feel unable to function as a mother and wife, that is when I need to put it aside for awhile until I feel up to the challenge.

I explained it to my mother this way: Mom, you care for people very much. You offer advice and offer yourself to others frequently. Sometimes it works out, and sometimes it hurts. But, you can still function and move on from it when it doesn't work out the way you hoped. - - - When it comes to me, I am have enherited that caring and giving spirit. The difference is, when it doesn't work out the way I want it to... I dwell on it and I feel deep sorrow and need big pushes of encouragement to move on.

My new way of approaching this is to realize that God is directing me to plant seeds of faith and His truth. Even when there is a lot of rocky ground out there. But it is not up to me to till the soil, that's God's work. And even if I don't get around to planting a seed when the opportunity presents itself, God will take care of them. That understanding brings great relief to me.

I see this caring and giving spirit in my daughter, Mikayla. She is only 6, but she has it in boat loads. You know, like the ARK... Acts of Random Kidness. (That's from the movie Evan Almighty, one of her favorites.) Anyways, I can only hope to be a positive influence on how she can act upon this spirit, so that she never loses the desire for it.

So, I am doing very well today. A little stressed over catching up on housework and homework. But nothing I can't handle. Heck, it's the weekend and tomorrow night is date night for Tom and I - dinner and dancing! I'm a happy gal.

God Bless,
Melissa